Self Review

Have you ever taken a strong hard look at yourself? You know, took stock of who you think you are and who you are to everyone around you. It's a pretty difficult thing to do.
Lets say, for example, you attend church, treat your friends pretty well and take care of your family so you think you are a pretty great person. Now lets look at what the same sex couple down the street thinks of you.
They have seen/heard you tell your children to stay away from them because you were worried they would molest your children. You intentionally ignore them. Finally your church regularly preaches how people like your neighbors are going to Hell.
Do you think you're a good person now? How about to the guy on the corner where you work? You know, the one who smells like a urinal and is always asking for change. The one you have never given change to. How do you think he perceives you? Are you a good person in his eyes?
Of course these are just theoretic 'what ifs'. I was just trying to point out no matter what your self perception, there are many others. Not to mention it might be correct to say we are too close to the subject to have a clear view to analyze.
So what about me. Who do I think I am? Am I a good person, a weird person or a bad person? Do I like who I am? If not, then why? If I do then the same question.
It's hard really to say.
I'm often arrogant and self involved. I can be grumpy and difficult. I also want things my way on my schedule. But do these things make a bad person or only human?
I can also look at the flip side of the coin.
I am giving and self conscience. I can be joyful and easy going. I also take a back seat and let others direct things according to their time table.
With such contradictions who am I? Am I an easy going guy or a high strung arrogant ass? Do I have to be one or am I a little of both?
Maybe I am taking on too much self discovery in one setting. Perhaps I should start with just one aspect of who I am.
I enjoy humor.
I love to laugh and hear a good joke. I wish I was funnier. I wish I had that internal ability to instinctively know what was funny. As it is, I don't.
Although I love jokes, I really have a terrible sense of humor. Jokes regularly go over my head and I find myself laughing at issues no one else finds funny. I have bad timing, and I generally forget punch lines as I am mid way through telling a joke.
But still, I love to laugh.