Monday, June 23, 2008
The 'Me' Nation
I'm confused.Since when did the United States become the Independent states of Unconnected Individuals?I know, seems out of left field doesn't it? Well, what got me thinking about this was a discussion I heard on a morning radio talk show (yes, I listen to talk radio and yes I know I am a geek) about bailing out home owners on this housing/loan crisis.The premise was the proposal in the Senate for homeowner relief. You know, a person buys a house and now the loan has become uncontrollable and the homeowner may very well loose their house. The argument on the show (francene on whas.com where you can listen live) was that many people have no problem helping people who were truly needy but they were angry about the proposal to help those who just made stupid choices. Okay stupid choices;You make $30,000 a year and buy a house at $250,000 then refinance and take out more debt for things like cars, furniture, private school, etc. Then the bottom falls out of the housing market and for whatever reason you can't make your mortgage payment.Stupid choices led to this problem. Most people argued if you make a mistake you live, you learn. My problem is who do we choose to help? How do we choose to help? Or even do we help at all? The U.S. is a free market country so by those standards the general public should not help anyone for any reason. Of course that also means we shouldn't provide tax incentives for companies or bailouts for corporations or even the financial insurance on bank accounts we currently have to protect the economy if there ever should be a run on the banks. Yet we do.The U.S. also provides police protection paid by all of us. Military protection paid by all of us, and even public education paid by all of us. If we are a free market country why do we do that?If we truly believe a free market solves everything then why do we have social security or medicaid, or public assistance?Yeah, I know many politicians argue those things should also be eliminated. Everyone for themselves.We are a me nation. We like to point out to the rest of the world when we lend money or give assistance. We (as a country) also like to point out how much we give. Heck even local politicians do it. How often has some congressman/woman or senator been running for re-election and they point out how much money they brought to the district? Problem is, the politician didn't do it alone.I promise you, unless there is massive corruption monies sent to a district to build bridges, schools or companies that decide to build in these districts do not come because of the politician alone. It's also because of the people. Or in the case of public works because of the need. Don't get me wrong, a bad politician may not be able to work the system well enough to get the appropriate monies in for necessary projects, but even a great politician can't do it all alone.I think the U.S. has forgotten something important. "We the people..." The only time I hear it anymore is when someone wants to get elected. It was written for a purpose. It means all of us together decide to do things. All of us together make things happen. Not Senator so and so all by themselves or Representative what's their name. It takes all of us.Even when we screw up it's all of our problems and fault. We have to take the good with the bad you know.It just is odd to me that the large part of the general public is so hell bent on the me mentality. We don't want socialized medicine. We don't want universal health coverage. Well guess what? All you people out there that do not want socialized medicine are actually subsidizing it. So the irony is, even though you don't want to pay for the healthcare of everyone you already are.In England, Switzerland, France, Germany they all get the same medicine the U.S. gets but they force the pharmaceutical companies to charge less than a third there than they do here. These companies claim it's possible for them to charge such low prices in these countries because they can make the difference up in the high prices in the U.S. So you see every time you fill a prescription you are paying for pills in Canada, France, England, Germany, etc. You are subsidizing their universal coverage or in the case of Great Britain you are subsidizing a socialized system of medicine.That's what happens in a free market economy. You get to pay for everyone else in the worlds benefits. You just don't want them yourself.So back to the point.Why have we in the U.S. become so selfish? (yeah, I can hear the screams out there about how the U.S. sends billions in aid to hundreds of international causes. But come on. If you found yourself in a bind and had to borrow some money from a friend how long would this person remain your friend if they advertised they gave you money. Not only gave you money but HOW MUCH they gave you? What would you think of that person? You wouldn't remain friends and you would think of them as a selfish ass. So what do you think America is for constantly reminding the world when and how much we give? Face it, the act itself is suppose to be selfless and when you advertise it and the amount it means it wasn't a selfless act it was pretty darn selfish.)I get angry that it seems the people who benefit most from taxes many times do not deserve the help. Problem is, how do we choose who does or does not get help? What's the solution?Simple. We do not choose. We help. Yes some of the wrong people get helped but so do some of the right ones. Nothing in this country is done alone.Even the check out person at the grocery store is inadvertently helping hundreds of other people. They use a machine that employs thousands, they work for a company and help perpetuate the profit of this company, they pay bills that benefit others and they too shop and perpetuate the jobs of other check out people.Even as a free market economy we are so very interdependent on each other.United we stand, divided we fall.Remember that bit of insightful advice?Doesn't seem so. We don't push for Universal healthcare because we don't want to pay for the bums who are lazy to get healthcare. We don't allow expansion of social system because we are afraid someone will get something for nothing. Truth is, it doesn't matter. We already give hundreds and thousands of people something for nothing. (hell look at the Congress or the Senate, like they are actually earning their pay checks) If we united and try to help each other out no matter what got us in the mess we might just be able to pull ourselves back up.Does it mean we won't have problems again down the road? No, in life there are no guarantees. It does mean next time it will be easier to stand back up.United we stand, divided we fall.I'm not a socialist. Nor am I a communist. I just think when a society decides to pick and choose who we help then we aren't really helping anyone.Now, that doesn't mean there shouldn't be rules and guidelines. That it's a free for all. No, there has to be guidelines. I'm just not smart enough, not educated enough to give each little detail as to how to properly do all this (universal healthcare, shoring up social programs, homeowner relief) no that's the job of the elected officials. But I am smart enough, just like everyone reading this is, and powerful enough, just as powerful as all of you, to know that when it's all about me all the time then we all fail.
Friday, May 30, 2008
A Matter of Choice
Everywhere you look there is a person proclaiming the right to do this, or the right not to be forced to do that. You know, the right to choose. Whether it is abortion (for or against), marriage (equal for all or allowed for only a select group), politics (Obama or Clinton or McCain). We, as Americans, even have the right to choose where we live.
I recently saw an interview with a person who believes all these choices people think they have are actually fabrications. They stated when you go into a grocery store you see all the different apples and think you have many choices. The truth is there really are only three different types of apples (for the most part) in grocery stores to choose from.
Take political candidates. You think you are choosing the next president, Congressional Representative or even Senator. But the truth is you get to select from only those candidates that are provided. If Joe Smith cannot afford to advertise they are not invited to any debates nor does the media really mention them. Eventually this candidate drops out. Or in the presidential campaign. If you are not elected by the Democratic convention or Republican convention then you have no chance of becoming president. So unless you choose a Democrat or a Republican nominee then you are not really getting to choose anything. Even when you do vote for president it's the state's delegates that actually choose not the voters.
You have heard of it before. 2000 presidential election in Florida. Gore won the popular vote (or had the highest number of votes cast by the voters) but Bush was selected by the state's delegates. So Bush won the state.
I guess it's better to say as Americans we have choices. It's just we must select from the choices given to us, not neccessarily the choice we may want.
So where am I going with this?
I am currently choosing to not date. I am choosing to not seek out and have a relationship. However, looking at it from the point of view that I have to select from the options presented to me this is how my decision came about.
I am presented with these options;
1. Date the first person that comes along
2. Be more choosier but only so far as the limited selection as I am presented
3. Just have random sex with little to no selectiveness
4. Have random sex but with some selectivness
5. Not date and tell everyone you are holding out for the right person
Okay, those aren't the selections I want but that's what I am given. So I choose not to date. I would rather be alone than settle. Trust me I have done it before and it always comes out badly. Oh, I'm not a one night stand kind of guy so none of the random sex choices work for me either.
Here's my problem. My choices are limited now. Every year I get older and my choices for compatible love interest become more and more limited. One day there will come a time when I will need to just accept (or, *laugh*, choose to) I will be alone for the rest of my life.
Want to know the funny part?
I'm actually okay with that.
What's funnier is that I am okay with that right now. Next week maybe I won't be, then the week after I will be and so on. I bounce up and down on the whole subject. No wonder it's such a difficult endeavor to date me. It's practically impossible to predict what I want or when I will want it.
Now, if I only had as much to offer as to equal out the difficulty of dating me. Then we would be cooking with oil.
Until then I am choosing not to date and holding out for the right person to come along or for me to find.
(see, I almost believe it myself)
I recently saw an interview with a person who believes all these choices people think they have are actually fabrications. They stated when you go into a grocery store you see all the different apples and think you have many choices. The truth is there really are only three different types of apples (for the most part) in grocery stores to choose from.
Take political candidates. You think you are choosing the next president, Congressional Representative or even Senator. But the truth is you get to select from only those candidates that are provided. If Joe Smith cannot afford to advertise they are not invited to any debates nor does the media really mention them. Eventually this candidate drops out. Or in the presidential campaign. If you are not elected by the Democratic convention or Republican convention then you have no chance of becoming president. So unless you choose a Democrat or a Republican nominee then you are not really getting to choose anything. Even when you do vote for president it's the state's delegates that actually choose not the voters.
You have heard of it before. 2000 presidential election in Florida. Gore won the popular vote (or had the highest number of votes cast by the voters) but Bush was selected by the state's delegates. So Bush won the state.
I guess it's better to say as Americans we have choices. It's just we must select from the choices given to us, not neccessarily the choice we may want.
So where am I going with this?
I am currently choosing to not date. I am choosing to not seek out and have a relationship. However, looking at it from the point of view that I have to select from the options presented to me this is how my decision came about.
I am presented with these options;
1. Date the first person that comes along
2. Be more choosier but only so far as the limited selection as I am presented
3. Just have random sex with little to no selectiveness
4. Have random sex but with some selectivness
5. Not date and tell everyone you are holding out for the right person
Okay, those aren't the selections I want but that's what I am given. So I choose not to date. I would rather be alone than settle. Trust me I have done it before and it always comes out badly. Oh, I'm not a one night stand kind of guy so none of the random sex choices work for me either.
Here's my problem. My choices are limited now. Every year I get older and my choices for compatible love interest become more and more limited. One day there will come a time when I will need to just accept (or, *laugh*, choose to) I will be alone for the rest of my life.
Want to know the funny part?
I'm actually okay with that.
What's funnier is that I am okay with that right now. Next week maybe I won't be, then the week after I will be and so on. I bounce up and down on the whole subject. No wonder it's such a difficult endeavor to date me. It's practically impossible to predict what I want or when I will want it.
Now, if I only had as much to offer as to equal out the difficulty of dating me. Then we would be cooking with oil.
Until then I am choosing not to date and holding out for the right person to come along or for me to find.
(see, I almost believe it myself)
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Battle of Midway
I have a monumental day approaching.
I call it 'Midway' day.
There is not a lot of happiness associated with this day. It's special every year but this year it's actually something bigger. Every year it is a disappointment, to say the least. I fear this year it may be even worse.
Yeah, you probably figured out I am talking about my birthday. Every year since I can remember this day (my birthday) has been anywhere from mildly annoying to disastrous.
For example, there were at least three, not two, not one, birthdays while I was a teenager my birthday was completely forgotten by everyone except me. There was another (beyond the three I just mentioned) that was forgotten and I made the mistake of bringing it up and pointing out the others that were forgotten.
Yeah, the mistake. It was a mistake because I was verbally castrated for mentioning it. The main argument was that the birthday was not forgotten it was celebrated. Problem was when the birthday was described in detail to prove I was wrong the birthday described was in fact my sister's not mine. Me and my big mouth pointed that out. The next year at least my mother was kind enough to tell me she was not going to celebrate my birthday that year. At least then it couldn't be said it was forgotten.
After high school I entered the Navy. My first birthday in the Navy I received no letters, cards or phone calls. No one knew it was my birthday.
My second I was out in the middle of the Atlantic. I watched as everyone around me opened packages from family, friends and what not. Packages received just because the person was missed not for any special reason. I got a phone bill in the mail.
By my third birthday in the Navy my friends in the military actually tried to celebrate my birthday. It was not a bad year. People actually cared that year (okay, so they were more concerned about having a reason to get drunk but I'm easy to please by this point.)
My mother actually told me we would celebrate my birthday when I came home to visit. It seemed maybe she had changed a little.
I returned to her home for a visit and no mention was made about my birthday. I waited, waited, waited, oh and I waited. No card, no cupcake. Nothing. The day before I was set to return to Florida I brought it up. I was told I was being selfish and no such promise was ever made.
From then on I expected nothing for my birthday. Not even for people to notice. It seemed though, the more I tried to pretend it wasn't important to me the more important it was. I got to where I would begin becoming desperately depressed a week before my birthday. Then it was two weeks, three and now it's up to a month of severe depression.
Don't get me wrong, I try to make my birthdays enjoyable. I get myself a present (when I can afford it). Hell, I go through a lot of trouble. I get a haircut (the expensive kind not Quick Cuts) a new shirt and pants (sometimes even new under ware). I get all dressed up and preened like I was going to go on a really hot date.
Thing is, it's not a hot date. It's just me.
I no longer have contact with my mother. It has been almost ten years maybe more. It just became too unhealthy a relationship. She liked to verbally castrate me and I believed her. The separation was the right thing to do. But I can't expect an acknowledgment of my birthday (preferably a present considering how many years she totally blew the whole thing off) if we no longer are in contact can I?
My friends try. I feel bad about it. I have some how built up this unattainable idea of what a good birthday is that now no one is able to live up to the expectation. Every year I come up with my ultimate birthday gift. One I am completely aware I would never receive but one I truly want.
I guess this ultimate gift really was invented because I became so disappointed by birthdays now I can at least have a reason as to why I seem disappointed.
Now here I am.
Midway.
I've been depressed for two weeks already so it will make this year the longest. A month and a half. I'm not where I want to be in life. The ultimate gift is actually more reasonable this year than it ever has been. In years past I have wanted a house, a condo on a beach, a car, a two week cruise to Australia. This year I want a year's tuition to college, a 20% down payment for a house or a trip to see Machu Pichu in Central America (okay, so that one is the most expensive, yeah the type of house I want is generally less than most people's yearly salary so it isn't that much, but a guy has gotta have dreams).
I know I am in control of my own life. Or in control as much as anyone can be so if I am not happy with my life only I can change it. I guess it's mostly just that I have tried to have a different kind of birthday every year and never had a good one. I am just tired of trying anymore. Life can be exhausting.
I have done one thing different this year.
It has been twenty-seven years since I have seen, spoken to or had any correspondence with my biological father. I looked him up and wrote a letter. In it I stated my birthday was approaching and it was important to me to receive some response before it gets here.
I would like to believe that twenty-seven years of missed birthdays and Xmases would warrant a kick ass birthday gift but I am a realist.
I fear the contact I receive will be minimal with my biological father professing poverty. (NOTE: I only mentioned my birthday was quickly approaching and because it was an important birthday it seemed the time to attempt contact with him. I NEVER mentioned anything about money.) I fear disappointment is rapidly approaching. This year quite possibly a greater amount of disappointment than ever.
On the plus side, my birthday is only one day. Twenty-four hours. It will be over and I will have a whole year to forget about it.
Wish me luck.
I call it 'Midway' day.
There is not a lot of happiness associated with this day. It's special every year but this year it's actually something bigger. Every year it is a disappointment, to say the least. I fear this year it may be even worse.
Yeah, you probably figured out I am talking about my birthday. Every year since I can remember this day (my birthday) has been anywhere from mildly annoying to disastrous.
For example, there were at least three, not two, not one, birthdays while I was a teenager my birthday was completely forgotten by everyone except me. There was another (beyond the three I just mentioned) that was forgotten and I made the mistake of bringing it up and pointing out the others that were forgotten.
Yeah, the mistake. It was a mistake because I was verbally castrated for mentioning it. The main argument was that the birthday was not forgotten it was celebrated. Problem was when the birthday was described in detail to prove I was wrong the birthday described was in fact my sister's not mine. Me and my big mouth pointed that out. The next year at least my mother was kind enough to tell me she was not going to celebrate my birthday that year. At least then it couldn't be said it was forgotten.
After high school I entered the Navy. My first birthday in the Navy I received no letters, cards or phone calls. No one knew it was my birthday.
My second I was out in the middle of the Atlantic. I watched as everyone around me opened packages from family, friends and what not. Packages received just because the person was missed not for any special reason. I got a phone bill in the mail.
By my third birthday in the Navy my friends in the military actually tried to celebrate my birthday. It was not a bad year. People actually cared that year (okay, so they were more concerned about having a reason to get drunk but I'm easy to please by this point.)
My mother actually told me we would celebrate my birthday when I came home to visit. It seemed maybe she had changed a little.
I returned to her home for a visit and no mention was made about my birthday. I waited, waited, waited, oh and I waited. No card, no cupcake. Nothing. The day before I was set to return to Florida I brought it up. I was told I was being selfish and no such promise was ever made.
From then on I expected nothing for my birthday. Not even for people to notice. It seemed though, the more I tried to pretend it wasn't important to me the more important it was. I got to where I would begin becoming desperately depressed a week before my birthday. Then it was two weeks, three and now it's up to a month of severe depression.
Don't get me wrong, I try to make my birthdays enjoyable. I get myself a present (when I can afford it). Hell, I go through a lot of trouble. I get a haircut (the expensive kind not Quick Cuts) a new shirt and pants (sometimes even new under ware). I get all dressed up and preened like I was going to go on a really hot date.
Thing is, it's not a hot date. It's just me.
I no longer have contact with my mother. It has been almost ten years maybe more. It just became too unhealthy a relationship. She liked to verbally castrate me and I believed her. The separation was the right thing to do. But I can't expect an acknowledgment of my birthday (preferably a present considering how many years she totally blew the whole thing off) if we no longer are in contact can I?
My friends try. I feel bad about it. I have some how built up this unattainable idea of what a good birthday is that now no one is able to live up to the expectation. Every year I come up with my ultimate birthday gift. One I am completely aware I would never receive but one I truly want.
I guess this ultimate gift really was invented because I became so disappointed by birthdays now I can at least have a reason as to why I seem disappointed.
Now here I am.
Midway.
I've been depressed for two weeks already so it will make this year the longest. A month and a half. I'm not where I want to be in life. The ultimate gift is actually more reasonable this year than it ever has been. In years past I have wanted a house, a condo on a beach, a car, a two week cruise to Australia. This year I want a year's tuition to college, a 20% down payment for a house or a trip to see Machu Pichu in Central America (okay, so that one is the most expensive, yeah the type of house I want is generally less than most people's yearly salary so it isn't that much, but a guy has gotta have dreams).
I know I am in control of my own life. Or in control as much as anyone can be so if I am not happy with my life only I can change it. I guess it's mostly just that I have tried to have a different kind of birthday every year and never had a good one. I am just tired of trying anymore. Life can be exhausting.
I have done one thing different this year.
It has been twenty-seven years since I have seen, spoken to or had any correspondence with my biological father. I looked him up and wrote a letter. In it I stated my birthday was approaching and it was important to me to receive some response before it gets here.
I would like to believe that twenty-seven years of missed birthdays and Xmases would warrant a kick ass birthday gift but I am a realist.
I fear the contact I receive will be minimal with my biological father professing poverty. (NOTE: I only mentioned my birthday was quickly approaching and because it was an important birthday it seemed the time to attempt contact with him. I NEVER mentioned anything about money.) I fear disappointment is rapidly approaching. This year quite possibly a greater amount of disappointment than ever.
On the plus side, my birthday is only one day. Twenty-four hours. It will be over and I will have a whole year to forget about it.
Wish me luck.
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