A constant struggle

It's been a while since I have posted here. But what else do I have to do?
Things are going pretty bad lately. Yes, I know. I am going through all this to better myself and I knew it would be hard. But come on!
Three pay checks in a row I am over drawn. It would be one thing if it was because I was wasting money but that's not the case at all. It's all going to bills. Bills for criminey sake. I still can't even pay all of them.
Let's add on top of it a birthday this past Sunday.
Can you say I should have just commited suicide rather than actually suffered through that tragidy? I had two people totally bail out on me. I understand emergencies but one bailed because they didn't want to come to where I was, 15 minutes from them, the other bailed because, well, they just didn't want to do what I wanted to do. Wow. Nice to know people are so willing to sacrifice for me.
Now lets add the over drawn account, no birthday present for me, an over due water bill (the water has been shut off because of lack of payment if you are wondering) and so little gas in my car I am pretty sure I will run out either on the way to work or on the way home. Either way I run out.
Now we also have to add that my tags are about to expire and I can't afford to renew them. Hell, I can't afford to get auto insurance to be able to renew my tags. All this wouldn't be a big deal except the place I live has the WORST public transportation. Almost non-existant. I'm so screwed.
Here's the kicker.
I get paid tomorrow but this check goes toward rent. With the over draft and the fee charged I will have enought to pay what is owed on the water bill, and pay the rent. But I won't have anymore than that. No gas, no tags, no food. That's it.
I hate my life and really have no idea why I don't just step in front of a semi and make it all a little easier. Oh, wait I know why. Because i will survive the accident and I don't have health insurance. *laughs*

Where will you go?

This morning several of the ladies I work with were talking about how the moon looked last night. Just for background, tonight December 12th, the moon will be the closest to the Earth it has been all year. Last night it was pretty close so it lent to some spectacular sky views.
However, the people I work with are VERY religious. So the sight of the strange sky scared them.
Scared them???
Their conversation this morning made me think, "This is why humans for hundreds of years believed there were entities that lorded over the lightening and storms." All they talked about was how they thought it was the end of the world.
The end of the world???
Why on Earth would a natural event that actually takes place every year be something to fear and believe is a foreshadow of the end of the Earth?
I dunno. I normally try to leave people and their religious beliefs alone, but when you revert to a primitive, just out of the cave personality it really irks me. Gets my dander up.
Come on people! Try opening a book every once in a while. Try asking questions rather than immediately diverting to religion.
Even God (if it actually exists) has made the world, it made the world in a completely natural and logical way so all that takes place even IF it were a sign would still be a natural wonder.
So come on, wake the heck up and take the damn blinders off people.
Live, learn, be.

Yeah, I paint.

So, there is very little any of you readers know about me. I decided that it has been a while so I would post a little bit about me.
I enjoy painting.
It's a bit odd what I do, but it usually works out well.
I work mostly in oil, but on occasion I will work with acrylic. It's all a little cartoonish but its just for fun.
I've decided to post a video on youtube with some of my work. Check it out and let me know what you think.

http://www.youtube.com/mlktoest

check out my videos while you are there. Try giving me some pointers. I could always use the help in making a better vlog.
So, then, that's a little something about me. Your turn. Tell me something about you.